Storm-Related Pickup Lines That Should Be Illegal ☁️ Ranked by handcuffs because some of y’all need to be stopped.
🌪️ “Are you a hurricane? Because you’re blowing me away.”
🛑 Cringe Rating: 🔗🔗🔗🔗🔗 (5 Handcuffs)
This is the dad joke of doom. Retired in 1998, resurrected by guys who still text “hey.”
🛶 “Mind if I hunker down with you?”
🛑 Cringe Rating: 🔗🔗🔗🔗 (4 Handcuffs)
You could just say hi. Instead, you sound like an uninvited FEMA tent.
💦 “You can lose power at my place anytime.”
🛑 Cringe Rating: 🔗🔗🔗🔗🔗 (5 Handcuffs)
Is this flirting or an ad for your generator kink?
🧱 “I’ve got sandbags—and I know how to use them.”
🛑 Cringe Rating: 🔗🔗🔗 (3 Handcuffs)
It’s giving “aggressive HOA energy.” Back away slowly.
📡 “I’m like FEMA — I may be slow, but I’ll eventually come.”
🛑 Cringe Rating: 🔗🔗🔗🔗🔗 (5 Handcuffs)
Congratulations, you’ve weaponized bureaucracy and foreplay in one sentence.
🌫️ “Let’s do it in the rain. I’m really down.”
🛑 Cringe Rating: 🔗🔗🔗 (3 Handcuffs)
Moody. Wet. Definitely written by someone who listens to Lana Del Rey in a storm shelter.
🛜 “You evacuating… or can I ride this one out with you?”
🛑 Cringe Rating: 🔗🔗🔗🔗 (4 Handcuffs)
You brought cohabitation into a one-liner. Now we’re ALL uncomfortable.
👕 Bonus: The Only Hurricane Move That’s Actually Hot
Wearing one of these Florida AF hurricane shirts.
We’ve got Cat 5 swagger, evacuation humor, and more storm-season drip than a leaky roof.
Get yours now, before the power goes out and your ex starts texting again.
☄️ Final Forecast:
If you recognize your own flirting on this list, it’s time to retire the lines and upgrade the wardrobe. Remember: hurricanes are dangerous… but your pickup lines are worse.