Coffee and Conspiracies: Theories That Only Make Sense at 3 AM
Flat Earth: The Coffee Mug That Proves Everything
Some people say the Earth is round. Others say it’s flat. But have you ever looked at the bottom of your coffee mug? Flat. Coincidence? I think not.
☕ Supporting Evidence:
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The way coffee settles in a cup? Perfectly flat.
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Ever spilled coffee? It doesn’t roll—it spreads.
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Airlines and coffee shops both use loyalty points. What are they hiding?
Time Travel: The Espresso Effect
Ever chug an espresso and suddenly three hours disappear? That’s not bad time management—that’s proof of time dilation.
🕰️ Possible Theories:
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Caffeine speeds up brain function, making time feel faster.
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Ever wake up from a nap and have no clue what year it is? Temporal jump confirmed.
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Baristas are actually time travelers. That’s why they always seem one step ahead.
Secret Societies and the Barista Brotherhood
What if your local coffee shop isn’t just a place to get caffeine—but a front for something bigger?
🔍 Suspicious Clues:
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The weird symbols in latte art. Hidden messages?
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Why do baristas always know your order before you say it? Mind reading?
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Starbucks cups with names misspelled—an encoded language?
The Moon Landing Was Filmed in a Coffee Shop
We all saw the grainy moon landing footage. You know what else is grainy? That security camera footage of your favorite café.
🌙 Key Observations:
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Astronauts in space = floating. Just like coffee grounds in a French press.
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Buzz Aldrin? Sounds suspiciously like the buzz you get from a double shot of espresso.
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Ever seen a barista and a NASA scientist in the same room? Exactly.
Final Sip: Stay Caffeinated, Stay Curious
Whether you’re a full-time skeptic or just here for the memes, one thing is certain: coffee and conspiracies go hand in hand. Next time you sip your midnight brew, keep an eye out—you never know what you might uncover.
☕ Want a mug that fuels your late-night theories? Check out our novelty coffee mugs at UnlawfulThreads.com and sip with suspicion!