Florida Memes
Why Florida Man Stories Seem Extra Weird Around Christmas
Every holiday season, while the rest of the country is roasting chestnuts and singing carols, Florida is busy doing Florida things. Extra Florida things. It’s a time of year when the Sunshine State’s most infamous folk hero, "Florida Man," appears in his truest form — riding a jet ski in a Santa suit, wrestling inflatable reindeer, or stealing Christmas lights while shirtless. But why do Florida Man stories get so wild during Christmas? Let’s unwrap the mystery.
The Alligator Who Stole Christmas
Deep in the swamp on a crisp Christmas Eve,
Where the sawgrass is sharp and the big herons weave,
Lived a grumpy old gator named Alistair Snout,
Whose heart (if he had one) was shriveled with doubt.
The world was too noisy, the nights were too bright,
With houseboats and campers all flashing their lights.
"Bah! Christmas!" he grumbled from under his log,
As he snapped at a turtle and scared off a frog.
But what happened next would make headlines galore —
Because old Alistair Snout declared Holiday War.
Where the sawgrass is sharp and the big herons weave,
Lived a grumpy old gator named Alistair Snout,
Whose heart (if he had one) was shriveled with doubt.
The world was too noisy, the nights were too bright,
With houseboats and campers all flashing their lights.
"Bah! Christmas!" he grumbled from under his log,
As he snapped at a turtle and scared off a frog.
But what happened next would make headlines galore —
Because old Alistair Snout declared Holiday War.